Mad Seafood Boiler

The Meal

Combo A (1/2 lb crab legs, 1/2 lb mussels, 1/2 lb shrimp, potatoes, corn, spicy garlic butter)

Orange Fanta

Gyoza

Rating 5/10

Would be higher, if the service had been better. Is it that hard to notice someone waving a credit card in your face, wanting to pay?

Kentucky Fried Chicken

I don't care what you say, I'm not gonna call it 'KFC', and you can't stop me.

The Meal

Famous Bowl (yes, I actually ate one)
Medium Dr. Pepper
Chocolate Chip Cookie
Macaroni and Cheese

Rating: 7/10

It would have been 10/10 if I hadn't seen the calorie counts.  That made me feel bad. But it was so, so tasty.

Wanna Quickie?

World's Greatest Ham Sandwich

Thumb-size chunk 2-year-old white Cheddar cheese (NOT SLICED!!!)
Thick cut ham (real ham, not lunchmeat)
Two slices white bread

Wrap the cheese in the ham, put it between the bread slices. Enjoy.

Enrique's Market/Thirteen's Accent

Enrique's Market

Enrique's is open 9 A.M. to 9 P.M., seven days a week. Who says immigrants don't want to work?

The Meal

Lengua tacos (2)
'Hogwash' fruit drink, 'Swine-sational Lime' flavor
Tahitian Treat (1 can)
Kinder Joy Egg

Rating: 10/10

The tacos contained tender, perfectly seasoned boiled tongue, white onions, and cilantro. Give them a squirt of lime, and they're perfect. They're always perfect. The Kinder Egg contained a tiny cardboard cartoon standee of Lindsey Vonn, part of the 'Teen Idols' series, which also includes Christiano Ronaldo, Avril Lavigne, and...Christopher Colombus? WTF?

Thirteen's Accent

The news today is that Jodie Whittaker will be using her natural Yorkshire accent. Yay for representation! Let's hope we can understand her better than Diana Rigg in 'The Crimson Horror'.
"Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!"

Pizza Ranch

A girl at the next table was celebrating her birthday. She couldn't have been much more than ten. She got, among other things, a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, a two-pound bag of M&Ms, and a Cabela's gift card. That should tell you everything you need to know about this particular chain.

The Meal

Fried Chicken
Macaroni and Cheese Pizza
Cheese Bread (cheese pizza with no sauce, cut into strips)
Sweet Corn
Cherry Dessert Pizza
Chocolate Pudding
Gold Peak Raspberry Tea
Coca-Cola

Rating: 8/10

The chicken, as always, was excellent. The mac and cheese pizza tasted like it had a crust made of stale Cheez-Its. Next time, avoid, avoid, avoid. The cheese bread was good, but nothing to write home about, the corn tasted like it had been picked a little late, but the desserts were superb. The place was loud and crowded, but it's a family restaurant, so what should I have expected?

Wanna Quickie?

 Dessert Soup, 5-Year-Old-Me-Style

Take a soup bowl, fill one-third of it with chocolate pudding, fill the rest with root beer. Enjoy!
(Yes, I actually ate this as a child, and yes, it's delicious.)

Rocky's Party Pizzeria

I won the jackpot in the arcade (1000 tickets). The 'Big Bass Wheel' machine will tell you a 'fish story' in a mock Minnesota accent when this happens. Which is not an entirely bad thing, given that dispensing that many tickets takes several minutes.

  The Menu 

Cheese Pizza
Fried Macaroni and Cheese
Breadsticks
Garlic Butter
Two sodas (each equal parts lime Fanta, peach Fanta, and cream soda)

Rating: 10/10

The pizza and fried mac were both quite good, the breadsticks were excellent, but winning 1000 tickets added at least half a point.